Several months ago, at my doctor's suggestion, I took up the practice of yoga. And I love it. It's a different type of physical challenge in that it also challenges you mentally. If you've never tried yoga, that may not make sense. The best way I can explain it is to say that the poses, the breathing and the balance required compel you to focus on what you're doing.

Last week while sitting in swan pose and struggling to hold my position, I heard the yoga instructor say, "Surrender to the pose." 

It was epiphany time right there on the yoga mat. 

"Surrender to the pose" immediately — for me, at least — extended beyond its literal meaning on the yoga mat and to a broader message about life. The word surrender kept echoing in my ears. And as I stopped resisting the pose and yielded to it, it reminded me how the concept of surrender can serve us well in so many aspects of life. 

The problem is we often perceive surrender as a bad thing, as simply giving up. But surrender doesn't mean that you give everything over to chance. It doesn't mean that you have no input or that you get to be lazy. Surrender is when we do our part, complete the work and then wait for what comes next. 

A few days after that yoga class, I read about approaching stress in one of two ways: swimming or floating. We can wear ourselves out by swimming against the current, or we can float along and accept the circumstances we find ourselves in. In other words, we surrender. Surrender is when we stop fighting, stop resisting and trust that things will be ok. And if it's not ok tomorrow, it may be the next day. Surrender is trust that no matter what happens, you'll be ok and you'll handle it. 

Life is a series of peaks and valleys. Some spend more time on peaks while others seem to find themselves in valleys all too often. Either way, we all have our struggles. But sometimes we keep struggling and fighting against a circumstance trying to change it, and the change doesn't happen. It's frustrating. It's like swimming upstream and wearing yourself out, because you're not getting anywhere. 

Maybe you've begged God to change something or make it better. You've sent out good vibes and good karma to the Universe. You've waited. You've worried. You've fretted. Still the situation hasn't changed. These are the times when it's best to surrender and know that you've done your best to change or improve the undesirable situation. Now it's up to God and the Universe to move things into place. (And I'm preaching to myself as much as anyone here.) In these situations, think of surrender as being a matter of trust — like that game featured in team-building exercises where you fall and rely on your team members to catch you. 

If you've done all you can to improve a circumstance you find yourself in but the condition hasn't changed, maybe it's time to surrender. Allow God in His infinite wisdom to work out the rest. Trust that the Universe is on your side and that things will eventually work out. And if they don't work out just the way you'd hoped, trust that you will have the strength to deal with it.

Do your part, breathe a prayer and then ... surrender. 

Do you find it hard to let go and surrender? Do you have advice for those trying to master the art of surrender? Please share in the comments and tell us what works for you.

My recent post on resilience elicited a concerned private response from one of my loyal followers. On first reading, that follower felt that I was likening a brutal reality like cancer to a troubling but trivial household repair. I explained that my intent was to indicate the two are not comparable. (I have since reconstructed the sentence in question to make my meaning more clear.)

After re-reading the post, the follower later conceded that my intent was misunderstood, but our dialogue on the subject brought up (for me, at least) an issue that I avoided in that post. My posts here are meant to illuminate those small but often overlooked lessons in life. I strive to be positive and offer encouragement and inspiration for everyday living, but, let's face it, some days and some outcomes just suck. 

Despite our fervent prayers and best efforts, people we love will die, friendships we cherish will fail, marriages will fall apart and people will grievously disappoint us. While I try to focus on the positive — both in my life and on this blog — the harsh realities of life are not lost on me. And though I've seen my share of hard luck and heartbreak, all in all, my life so far has been pretty darn good. I haven't been trapped in a burning car and lost my legs. I haven't suffered a serious injury that put me in a wheelchair. I haven't known the anguish of hearing a cancer diagnosis or lived with the reality of chemo treatments. 

After the concerned reader misunderstood my intent on resilience, I messaged a friend who lost her husband to cancer. This friend, who is still grieving the loss of her husband, publicly commented that she found my words helpful that day. When I asked privately if she found anything in my words offensive, she said no, that she understood my point. But our email conversation also led me to acknowledge this truth: Sometimes no matter how hard we fight or how hard we try, bad things will still happen. 

There, I said it. Sometimes it is not going to be ok. Sometimes life will punch us in the gut and suck the air right out of us. I don't like to admit this reality, but I know it's there, lurking around the corner and possibly poised to render me breathless.

Of course, we need to and are entitled to grieve and feel our losses — even to wallow in a little self pity over our bad luck or rough circumstances. But at some point, we must find the energy to move on. We have to keep going! No matter the outcome, good or bad, we have to keep going.

Why? Because, as my friend further pointed out, the alternative is not acceptable. When asked by people how she's dealt with the loss of a spouse, the death of other family members and various struggles in a few short years, her response was: "What choice do I have?"

That's the lesson! We either keep fighting or we give up. At the very least, giving up leads to a life of depressed misery. At the very worst, it becomes tragic. Years ago, this same friend and I witnessed the outcome of giving up when a mutual friend lost the will to go on and committed suicide. 

When it comes to dealing with the troubles of life, my friend put it this way: "The difference is in how you attempt to handle it."

Today may not be ok, but tomorrow can be. Tomorrow might bring tragedy, but the sun can shine again. As long as we're still breathing, there's still hope. (Tweet it!) Even if cancer calls, let's fight until we're healed or dead. Whatever life brings, let's give it our all until we can't give anymore. Even if we lose the battle in the end, we win the war by knowing we gave it everything we had. We win by being resilient.

If you're reading this and feel ready to give up — please call a friend or a hotline. Let someone help you, even if you can't help yourself. If you're reading this and determined to keep fighting, I encourage you to keep going one more day. And to all of you, let's greet the challenges and struggles of the day with a spirit of strength and resilience. Let's determine that regardless of the outcome we will not give up ... that giving up is not an option.

Please share your thoughts in the comments. You may remain anonymous. Your email will not be published.

Walking across my patio recently, I noticed a bright spot of yellow. One tiny pansy had somehow found a way to survive the bitter cold of a harsh winter and push its way to bloom again. It made me smile and gave me hope with its resilience. And I saw a lesson there.

We need to recognize the traits we share with that pansy. We need to see that we, too, are strong and able to survive. When battered by the storms and difficulties of life, we may feel hopeless and ready to give up, but if we muster the strength to press on and push forward, we can make it through.

If you're struggling with a storm in your life, if you feel like you just can't take one more thing going wrong, if you're ready to sit down and cry or curl up and die — just think of the pansy. That tiny flower's will to survive and strength to keep going are not traits reserved for our "natural" world; they are traits that exist in every one of us. And I am convinced that we're much more resilient than we think.

Some trials in life are more difficult than others. The aggravation of a cracked water pipe can't compare to the trauma of battling cancer, but all of our struggles require perseverance and determination. Whether it's a life-threatening illness, overwhelming grief or a series of setbacks, frustrations and disappointments, keep pushing. Keep going — and growing! — until you break through to find the sunshine on the other side.

Have you been awed by the resilience reflected in the natural world? Is there someone whose resilient spirit you admire? Is that someone you?

Whether you're a devoutly religious person, a spiritual person or someone who practices Eastern philosophy, tap into that side of yourself and rely on God, your higher power, the Universe — whatever gives you guidance and solace — and trust that things are moving to get you where you're supposed to be. The pieces on the chessboard are being strategically moved into place and the path is being laid before you. You just need to trust and follow. 

Years ago I read a heartwarming litte book that I recently re-read. It's called The Tao of Pooh. The book takes a unique perspective on the principles of Taoism, using the characters from Winnie the Pooh to explain the life principles expressed by the ancient philosopher Lao Tzu in the Tao Te Ching. While I don't profess to be a Taoist or an expert on Taoism, I am struck by how Lao Tzu's words still ring true today.

Tao means way or path. An important concept of Tao is "wu wei," which means to act without acting (non-doing or non-action). Mind you, non-doing doesn't mean you do nothing, it just means that once you've done what you can ... you let it go. Don't fight. Don't struggle. Just take the steps to get where you feel you ought to be (or want to be) and allow the rest to fall into place at the proper time. 

The concept of wu wei is also described as "going with the flow." I find peace in the calm imagery of my life as a stream flowing on its intended path while I allow it to run its course. No fighting against the current. No struggling against rocks and obstacles. Just enjoying the journey.

Remember that control is just an illusion. We never truly have control, no matter how much comfort we find in thinking that we do. So, the next time it feels like you're fighting an uphill battle — STOP! Don't fight. Don't force. Don't struggle. Just go with the flow. Allow things to happen in their own time. You know, enjoy the ride.

Have you been struggling and trying to force things to happen in your life? Or have you found peace in letting go? Please share your story or thoughts in the Comments.