Several months ago, at my doctor's suggestion, I took up the practice of yoga. And I love it. It's a different type of physical challenge in that it also challenges you mentally. If you've never tried yoga, that may not make sense. The best way I can explain it is to say that the poses, the breathing and the balance required compel you to focus on what you're doing.

Last week while sitting in swan pose and struggling to hold my position, I heard the yoga instructor say, "Surrender to the pose." 

It was epiphany time right there on the yoga mat. 

"Surrender to the pose" immediately — for me, at least — extended beyond its literal meaning on the yoga mat and to a broader message about life. The word surrender kept echoing in my ears. And as I stopped resisting the pose and yielded to it, it reminded me how the concept of surrender can serve us well in so many aspects of life. 

The problem is we often perceive surrender as a bad thing, as simply giving up. But surrender doesn't mean that you give everything over to chance. It doesn't mean that you have no input or that you get to be lazy. Surrender is when we do our part, complete the work and then wait for what comes next. 

A few days after that yoga class, I read about approaching stress in one of two ways: swimming or floating. We can wear ourselves out by swimming against the current, or we can float along and accept the circumstances we find ourselves in. In other words, we surrender. Surrender is when we stop fighting, stop resisting and trust that things will be ok. And if it's not ok tomorrow, it may be the next day. Surrender is trust that no matter what happens, you'll be ok and you'll handle it. 

Life is a series of peaks and valleys. Some spend more time on peaks while others seem to find themselves in valleys all too often. Either way, we all have our struggles. But sometimes we keep struggling and fighting against a circumstance trying to change it, and the change doesn't happen. It's frustrating. It's like swimming upstream and wearing yourself out, because you're not getting anywhere. 

Maybe you've begged God to change something or make it better. You've sent out good vibes and good karma to the Universe. You've waited. You've worried. You've fretted. Still the situation hasn't changed. These are the times when it's best to surrender and know that you've done your best to change or improve the undesirable situation. Now it's up to God and the Universe to move things into place. (And I'm preaching to myself as much as anyone here.) In these situations, think of surrender as being a matter of trust — like that game featured in team-building exercises where you fall and rely on your team members to catch you. 

If you've done all you can to improve a circumstance you find yourself in but the condition hasn't changed, maybe it's time to surrender. Allow God in His infinite wisdom to work out the rest. Trust that the Universe is on your side and that things will eventually work out. And if they don't work out just the way you'd hoped, trust that you will have the strength to deal with it.

Do your part, breathe a prayer and then ... surrender. 

Do you find it hard to let go and surrender? Do you have advice for those trying to master the art of surrender? Please share in the comments and tell us what works for you.

A few weeks ago I looked around my gutted kitchen and found it hard to imagine that it would ever get put back together again. It was difficult to see past the ugly mess and envision the beautiful kitchen that was drawn up on my contractor's plan.

Tearing down walls, ripping up floors ... it's all part of the necessary work to remodel a room. You have to tear it down in order to rebuild it. You have endure the ugly to get to the beauty on the other side. 

Isn't that just like life? Sometimes careers, friendships and marriages have to go through a rough, ugly patch in order to heal what's broken and make it better. Sometimes we have to feel the hurt of grief and loss to feel the beauty of life and love and wonder on the other side. Sometimes we have to push through the hard stuff to get to the good stuff.

If there's something ugly in your life right now, imagine your ugly duckling situation turning into a beautiful swan. (Just like my kitchen, shown above and almost complete.) Consider the possibilities. After all, we're all a work in progress.

Are you living through something ugly right now? Have you lived through a particularly bad period only to find something beautiful at the end? Please share your thoughts, experiences and advice in the comments.

My recent post on resilience elicited a concerned private response from one of my loyal followers. On first reading, that follower felt that I was likening a brutal reality like cancer to a troubling but trivial household repair. I explained that my intent was to indicate the two are not comparable. (I have since reconstructed the sentence in question to make my meaning more clear.)

After re-reading the post, the follower later conceded that my intent was misunderstood, but our dialogue on the subject brought up (for me, at least) an issue that I avoided in that post. My posts here are meant to illuminate those small but often overlooked lessons in life. I strive to be positive and offer encouragement and inspiration for everyday living, but, let's face it, some days and some outcomes just suck. 

Despite our fervent prayers and best efforts, people we love will die, friendships we cherish will fail, marriages will fall apart and people will grievously disappoint us. While I try to focus on the positive — both in my life and on this blog — the harsh realities of life are not lost on me. And though I've seen my share of hard luck and heartbreak, all in all, my life so far has been pretty darn good. I haven't been trapped in a burning car and lost my legs. I haven't suffered a serious injury that put me in a wheelchair. I haven't known the anguish of hearing a cancer diagnosis or lived with the reality of chemo treatments. 

After the concerned reader misunderstood my intent on resilience, I messaged a friend who lost her husband to cancer. This friend, who is still grieving the loss of her husband, publicly commented that she found my words helpful that day. When I asked privately if she found anything in my words offensive, she said no, that she understood my point. But our email conversation also led me to acknowledge this truth: Sometimes no matter how hard we fight or how hard we try, bad things will still happen. 

There, I said it. Sometimes it is not going to be ok. Sometimes life will punch us in the gut and suck the air right out of us. I don't like to admit this reality, but I know it's there, lurking around the corner and possibly poised to render me breathless.

Of course, we need to and are entitled to grieve and feel our losses — even to wallow in a little self pity over our bad luck or rough circumstances. But at some point, we must find the energy to move on. We have to keep going! No matter the outcome, good or bad, we have to keep going.

Why? Because, as my friend further pointed out, the alternative is not acceptable. When asked by people how she's dealt with the loss of a spouse, the death of other family members and various struggles in a few short years, her response was: "What choice do I have?"

That's the lesson! We either keep fighting or we give up. At the very least, giving up leads to a life of depressed misery. At the very worst, it becomes tragic. Years ago, this same friend and I witnessed the outcome of giving up when a mutual friend lost the will to go on and committed suicide. 

When it comes to dealing with the troubles of life, my friend put it this way: "The difference is in how you attempt to handle it."

Today may not be ok, but tomorrow can be. Tomorrow might bring tragedy, but the sun can shine again. As long as we're still breathing, there's still hope. (Tweet it!) Even if cancer calls, let's fight until we're healed or dead. Whatever life brings, let's give it our all until we can't give anymore. Even if we lose the battle in the end, we win the war by knowing we gave it everything we had. We win by being resilient.

If you're reading this and feel ready to give up — please call a friend or a hotline. Let someone help you, even if you can't help yourself. If you're reading this and determined to keep fighting, I encourage you to keep going one more day. And to all of you, let's greet the challenges and struggles of the day with a spirit of strength and resilience. Let's determine that regardless of the outcome we will not give up ... that giving up is not an option.

Please share your thoughts in the comments. You may remain anonymous. Your email will not be published.

Several weeks ago, before spring's arrival, I had a lot on my mind. Planning an extensive home improvement project. Financing said home improvement project. I was preparing for every possible catastrophe, living in a supposed future — not in the present moment. "What if" this. "What if" that. My head was a worry wheel of anxiety. And we all know what they say about worry. Well ... if you don't, here are some observations:

• Researchers at the University of Cincinnati say that 85 percent of what we worry about never happens. 

• “Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.” ~ Corrie Ten Boom

• Worrying does not take away tomorrow's trouble, it takes away today's peace." 

• "Worry is like a rocking chair; it gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere." ~ Van Wilder

At any rate, this post isn't about the foibles and futility of worry. It's about some ways to cure it by practicing the art of mindfulness and living in the present.

On that worry-racked Sunday, my husband and I took a short drive down the Natchez Trace Parkway, chose a trail and headed into the woods. It's amazing how fresh air, the crunch of dried leaves and the sound of trickling water can sooth your soul. An hour or so later as we returned to the car, I was relaxed and my mind was at ease. 

Last weekend, a camping trip to The Smokies had the same effect. Spending a couple of days thinking only about food, clothing, warmth and shelter (and searching for nature photo ops!) has a way of helping you forget about your troubles. 

A little time in the woods may not cure all of life's ills, but it can definitely help you put things in perspective and stay in the present. Here are a few more suggestions to practice mindfulness in your life:

• Practice yoga (it's hard to think about anything else while trying to maintain tree pose)
• Meditate (even 10 minutes a day offers great benefits)
• Play your favorite music (loud is even better)
• Get lost in a good book
• Go for a drive (with your favorite music playing)
• Practice hobbies you enjoy (knit, sew, write, photograph, play guitar, cook).

I find myself most mindful when I'm creating. Whether I'm photographing, writing or redesigning my website, I get lost in the moment. The challenge is to maintain that mindset — even when you aren't focused intently on a hobby or other activity. Some activities, by their very nature, demand more of our attention, but I find that the more I'm able to concentrate on a task for a short period of time, the easier it is to stretch those mindful periods so that they encompass more of my day. And the easier it is to be mindful during mundane activities like eating or washing dishes.

Give it a try! Choose a task and focus on it. Try a few mindful activities and let me know what works for you! 

How do you relax and stay mindful? Do you practice regular habits that help you stay in the present? I'm always eager to hear your thoughts and observations.